Five Reasons Why a Relationship Check-In Works
If you watch a lot of TV and movies, you’ll see couples arguing in their relationship therapy session, with the entire endeavour ultimately ending with one of them storming out, slamming a door and bolting, the relationship never to be retrieved. The truth is, that rarely happens! In reality, many people come to therapy ahead of the yelling, door slamming moments so they don’t even go down that road.
Still not convinced? Think about it like a hurricane. If you know it’s coming, you board up the windows, grab the survival supplies and prepare for the worst. If you simply hope for the best, and don’t prepare, you’ll likely find yourself boarding up those windows in gale force winds (which is decidedly a much more challenging task to complete).
As a couple's therapist, we’ve seen firsthand how transformative regular relationship check-ins can be. Whether you're navigating the early stages of your relationship or you've been together for decades, taking the time to touch base and nurture your connection with a neutral, third party is invaluable.
Here are five reasons why scheduling a couple's therapy session from time to time can work wonders for your relationship.
1. You’ll prevent small issues from becoming big problems.
Life is busy, and it's easy to sweep minor issues under the rug. However, those little annoyances and misunderstandings can accumulate, leading to larger conflicts down the line. Regular check-ins provide a safe space to address these small issues before they escalate, keeping your relationship healthy and harmonious.By learning to “turn toward” each other, we can start with open and clear communication (which has been shown to support and strengthen relationships).
2. Your communication skills will be stronger and more effective.
Effective communication is the cornerstone of any strong relationship. During therapy sessions, couples can learn new ways to express their needs, listen actively, and respond empathetically. These skills not only improve your relationship but also enhance your individual ability to connect with others in meaningful ways. Gottman therapy provides many tools to develop, enhance and deepen communication and connection.
3. You’ll reconnect and rekindle the romance.
Daily routines and responsibilities can sometimes lead to a feeling of disconnect between partners. Therapy offers an opportunity to reconnect, remind each other why you fell in love, and rekindle the romantic spark. It's a dedicated time to focus solely on each other, free from distractions.
4. Building resiliency together is so much easier than going it alone.
Every relationship faces challenges, whether it's dealing with life transitions, financial stress, or parenting. Relationship therapy helps you develop tools to navigate life’s challenges together, building resilience as a team. When you face challenges head-on with a united front, you become stronger and more resilient as a couple.
5. You’ll foster personal growth that will strengthen your relationship.
While the focus is on the relationship, couple's therapy also promotes individual growth. As you work through issues and develop better communication, you gain insights into your own behaviors and patterns. This self-awareness can lead to personal growth, making you a better partner and a more fulfilled individual.
Like most things in life, taking that first step to do a hard thing is the biggest challenge. Why not take the lead and talk to your partner about scheduling regular relationship check-ins. Think of it as routine maintenance for one of the most important aspects of your life: like going to the dentist (but less painful), or the massage therapist (but less relaxing). A weekly, monthly or even quarterly session will help ensure that your relationship continues to thrive, through the peaks and valleys of life.